2002-09-15 - 11:47 p.m.

So Far, Not So Good

Today was an utter waste of time.

For most of the day I felt so tired, hungry and confused, I was absolutely useless.

I'm sure part of it is the fact that I haven't been sleeping well, and that's mainly due to the fact I'm in pain. I don't understand why this happens, but every night I get these sharp pains in my pelvis, right where my legs join my torso, and I only notice it once I'm lain down for the night. This means I have to get up again, take some asprin and then wait for it to take effect. I can't find a comfortable position to lie in.

So basically today was spent wandering around in a stupor. There was a whole bunch of things I wanted to accomplish, and at the end of the day almost none of them got done.

I don't know whether the problem is with the diet, with me, or with something else entirely.

One of my plans today was to try and make a pot roast, using one of Lily's recipes I found in her blue recipe notebook. I was getting ready to make it late in the day, and then read that it has to cook at least 4 hours. Oops! I guess I'm not going to have THAT for dinner tonight!

That's what today was like, all these feeble stupid blunders. I also seemed to be very clumsy and kept dropping things.

The reason I'm on this diet is to lost weight and try to clear up my thinking, but what's the point if I can't think at all?

Around 11PM I went grocery shopping to get the ingredients I needed to make the pot roast tomorrow. I seem to have slipped into the habit of grocery shopping very late at night, like I used to before I met Lily. I prefer the supermarkets when they aren't thronged with people, but the main reason I keep going so late is that I keep putting off going until I realize suddenly that it's after 10PM. What a dork.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling better, and making a little more sense.