2001-03-14 - 11:59 p.m.

Waiting For The Other Shoe

And life goes on here at the Hamster Palace.

Some time ago, I can't remember when, I was reading an article in someone's diary (I think it was Scud's - I love my perfect memory!) giving women some cranky pointers on their relationships with guys. One of the items was: "Don't expect the rest of the relationship to be as good as the first two months."

Well.

This is going to sound like a clich�, but I love Lily more every day that we've been together. Things are going even better than they were in the first two months. How about that?

In spite of the fact that we spend most of our waking hours together it's always fun being with her and we always have plenty to talk about.

But...

Both of us have been in relationships before, and both of us have seen good things go bad.

One of the things that I was most afraid of when I was first getting to know Lily, was that I would infect her with my cynicism, my dark view of life. Little did I know that she was even more of a skeptic that I was! Still, I've seen some things that she has not. I know that the passage of time can do just about anything. It can turn two people who love each other into strangers, or even enemies. Or, worse yet, it can turn them into two people who still love each other but simply cannot stay together any more.

The other night we had a conversation about that. It's funny - we often find that we both are thinking the same thing at the same time. We were wondering when it all was going to go wrong. How am I going to fuck it up this time?

It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop. First comes the good part, and then...

I feel like I'm in the presence of some very fragile magic. I'm trying my very best not to do or say the thing that makes it go away.

So far, so good.