2003-01-25 - 11:57 p.m.

The Perfect Trap

I can almost predict it - nearly every time my hometown is mentioned in the national news, it's something embarrassing or disgusting.

I remember back in the 1970s a couple of local elderly folks froze to death in their homes because the power company shut off their power on Xmas eve. That made the national papers, and caused the embarrassed power company to change its policies regarding electricity shutoffs in the middle of winter.

Then there was the building that had to be demolished because of an incredible, unbelievable cockroach infestation. That made the national news, too. Like, ick.

More recently we got national ink for being the home to the Unabomber's brother, the guy who turned him in to the authorities. Compared to that other stuff, this was practically good news.

And now this latest: one of the weapons inspectors that went to Iraq, one of the biggest public critics of the Bush administration's planned war on that country, is now in jail for attempting to solicit sex with a supposed sixteen year old girl. I say "supposed" because the fellow tried to set up a meet at a local Burger King with what he thought was a sixteen year old girl, but it really turned out to be an undercover cop. When the police subsequently raided the guy's home, they found all sorts of naughty stuff on his computer. And of course, this guy is another local boy.

So not only does it give this area another national public relations black eye, but it also is giving the pro-war dorks some more ammunition for their crusade against Saddam Hussein. I suppose that their argument is that this guy's assertions about Iraq having no weapons of mass destruction are untrue because while he was looking for weapons in Iraq his mind was too clouded with lustful dreams of 16 year old nymphets. This is a dumb argument - the one thing really doesn't have anything to do with the other. However one thing is clear - this guy is screwed.

This might be an occasion for another anti-war rant and while I may do another one soon, this particular story got me thinking along other lines.

The hapless weapons inspector met what he thought was a 16 year old girl on the internet, but it turned out to be an undercover cop. Then his home computer was seized and it was found to be full of kiddie porn that he downloaded off the web. This dumb, sick guy was essentially hoist by his own petard, using the Internet.

People seem to think that the internet is this great anonymous mist shrouded dark alley where they can do anything they want with nobody any the wiser. Like a lot of things, this is true - until it isn't. The anonymity of the internet is greatly over-estimated: if someone on the web wants to find out who you are, they can. When you surf the web you are leaving footprints and fingerprints all over the place that people can trace, even people with extremely limited computer skills like yours truly. If I can track down people who are trying to hide their identities, imagine what the government can do? Thanks to all the anti-terrorist legislation it sounds like the government has been given a green light to investigate people via the web. Your government may know a lot more about you than you think they do.

In addition, while you are doing illegal or dubious stuff on the web, your computer is making a record of it! It's like you are videotaping YOURSELF while doing a burglary or an assault. The videotaped reality shows are constantly making fun of dim criminals who are caught on camera, but at least they aren't making a record of their misdeeds themselves! Who's the dummy now? Your closest friends may not know that you like to look at pictures of midgets covered in whipped cream, but your computer does.

And of course it's not hard to spy on someone's computer via the internet. The government can probably have a good look at all the crap the internet leaves on your computer without even leaving the safety of their offices. It's like they can look into your very soul!

This sounds a little paranoid, but as far as I can see there is nothing far-fetched in my analysis. While on the web you should act as if you are being watched, because for all you know you ARE being watched.

The Internet may seem like the Wild West or the Last Frontier, but in some ways it's just the perfect trap you can set for yourself.