2001-08-31 - 11:54 p.m.

31 August 2001

Planetarion: Caught In The Middle

This entry is kind of an experiment. I have this problem I am in the middle of, and I need to think it out. So I am going to do that here, in front of all of you. I hope you won't find it too boring.

It seems kind of abstract and silly to talk about problems in Planetarion galaxies. People squabble, people argue, and over what? Pretend spaceships and imaginary resources which are all just ones and zeroes in the brain of a server somewhere, and a DAMNED UNSTABLE server at that!

Well, now we move up another level of abstraction. Here is an argument that I'm caught in the middle of that's in a galaxy that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST YET!

Being serious Planetarion players, my mates and myself (and Lily too) have already organized a galaxy for next round, and we already have the full number - 25 players. It's somewhat accepted that I will be the GC once Round 5 actually starts, but my galaxy-mate Cocky is the one that is going to hold the password.

One of the first players recruited into the galaxy was Cocky's friend Ricardo who he's known for years through another online game. Along with Ricardo came his girlfriend and current galaxy-mate, Phoenix.

Ricardo is from Holland and is 21, while Phoenix lives in Canada, is 26 and has a young daughter by a previous marriage. The two of them met on the Internet, but have never actually seen each other face to face.

That seems so weird now that I look at it: A boyfriend and girlfriend who have never actually met? Well, I can't really look down my nose at them because that is how Lily and I started our relationship.

Considering the distance, and considering their other differences, I thought that the odds were not good for the longevity of their relationship. But once again, I'm a fine one to talk about such things.

However in the last two weeks, it has become apparent that Ricardo and Phoenix's relationship was in trouble. Phoenix was frequently seen in the galaxy IRC channel, but Ricardo was nowhere around. Phoenix was mentioning that she hadn't heard from Ricardo for days and days, but they were used to talking to each other on a daily basis. Phoenix seemed clearly distraught by this.

I myself had heard from Ricardo about a week ago on some galaxy-related matter, and he mentioned that work was keeping him very busy. That's all well and good, but leaving Phoenix hanging for the better part of two weeks is really inexcusable except under really extreme circumstances.

My private opinion was that Ricardo was breaking up with Phoenix in a very 21-year-old-guy way: he was trying to pretend that she didn't exist. He was avoiding her in the hopes that she would take the hint that she wasn't wanted any more and just quietly slink away.

Guys - that trick NEVER works!

After nearly two weeks of silence Ricardo reappeared. Actually, perhaps a better way to put it is he was forced out of hiding by Phoenix who found him in ignore-land on ICQ, I think.

Anyway, Ricardo has made it clear that he wants nothing more to do with Phoenix, and he wants her out of the galaxy. Moreover he is trying to get her exiled from his CURRENT galaxy.

What has Phoenix done to merit this harsh treatment? Nothing, as far as I can tell. Then again, I have only heard Phoenix's side of it.

I've had some extensive talks with Phoenix, and she has shown me recent chats between Ricardo and her. They were painful to read: he was very, very mean to her. But then again by showing me these private conversations she was clearly trying to sway me to her side.

So the couple is breaking up. However, there is an issue at stake: who gets the galaxy?

I first became aware of the problem yesterday. Cocky got in touch with me and showed me the transcript of a conversation between himself and Ricardo. It was actually quite disturbing - Ricardo was using every trick in the book to try to get Cocky to throw Phoenix out of the galaxy. He tried to twist Cocky's arm, then he tried emotional blackmail, then he said a bunch of bad things about Phoenix, and then he played the "all women are evil" card - one which Cocky is especially susceptible to. However, Cocky remained firm: it was a problem between Ricardo and Phoenix and the two of them had to work it out for themselves.

Ricardo then said that he'd leave himself if Phoenix wasn't booted. When Cocky didn't relent, Ricardo resigned. His name was formally removed from the galaxy list this morning.

Ricardo was also not so nice to his mate, Cocky - he was very quick to assume the absolutist stance of "if you are not for me, you are against me."

I could have told Ricardo that this was the wrong tack to take - the more you threaten Cocky the more stubborn he will become. He foolishly painted himself into a corner where he had no choice but to resign.

However, the matter really isn't settled. I still think I need to hear Ricardo's side of this - his reaction seems awfully strong considering that Phoenix didn't really do anything, or so she says.

Like I said before, Cocky's initial position was that they should work it out themselves, and I agreed with that. However, Phoenix showed me the transcript of a chat between her and Ricardo, and it made two things very clear: they cannot remain in the same galaxy together, and they also can't decide who should stay and who should go.

In the chat log, Ricardo was saying that he didn't want to stay in the galaxy with Phoenix and should leave because he was there first. Phoenix argued, somewhat naively, that they both should be mature enough to stay in the galaxy, and she was not leaving. However, the terrible things they said to each other in the rest of the log made it clear that there would be no peace while they were in the same galaxy.

So, gentle readers, who stays and who goes? The salient points:

Ricardo Stays

1. He clearly seems to be a better and more experienced PA player than Phoenix

2. He's a long-time friend of Cocky.

3. Lily, who is an excellent judge of character, thinks we should pick Ricardo over Phoenix. She does not like Phoenix's whining and flirting.

4. His life situation would make him more likely to be an active player - he doesn't have a kid to take care of.

5. Ricardo seems less likely to be a disruptive presence in the galaxy - Phoenix seems to have a penchant for bringing her real-life problems to the table.

Phoenix Stays

1. Ricardo seems like an utter bastard. Even if he has a good reason for dumping Phoenix, there is no excuse for how he's behaved.

2. Although Ricardo joined the galaxy first, Phoenix is probably better known, due to the simple fact that she has been hanging out in the IRC channel every day, talking to people, while Ricardo was off hiding someplace.

3. Phoenix has accused Ricardo of cheating, but then again he's accused her of some dubious stuff too. I would imagine both these claims cancel each other out.

4. While Ricardo is almost certainly the better player, Phoenix seem to be better connected. That is, she can call on more people to help her with defenses and counterattacks. As an aside, I should point out that this is true of a wide range of PA players. Nearly all the top players are guys, but because of the low ratio of women to men (at least 1:10) women can make lots of friends easily.

5. I have to admit that I'm sympathetic toward Phoenix and all the sad stories she has told. However, I know that I tend to be a soft touch and I'm not sure I trust these feelings.

Well, that's a pretty thorough examination of the problem, but I seem to be no closer to a solution - things seem pretty balanced. Well, I'm going to have to come up with some sort of solution soon, Ricardo and Phoenix are courting different galaxy members and if continues the galaxy could split apart before it has even started.

Countdown: 11 Days Behind