2001-04-06 - 11:59 p.m.

Redpop Horror

Not Redrum, people. It's RedPOP!

Every so often you make a little mistake. Today I made one.

As I've mentioned before, recently I've been having a yen to try different beverages. It's cravings for such things that can drive one off the path of righteousness. Well, sorta.

While running errands today, I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up some prescriptions. I was thirsty, so I thought I'd bring home something unusual. Then I saw it.

There was a display of three liter soda bottles, the drug store's own brand, "Big Fizz." They were having a sale three liters for 99 cents! Who could resist?

There were three flavors. Cola, Orange and "Redpop." What exactly was Redpop anyway? It had a mysterious ruby glint to it. Why not try it, since it was only 99 cents?

So I got it home and put it in the refrigerator. After leaving it there a couple hours I decided to try a glass. I took the bottle out of the fridge and opened it up.

It exploded in my face, spraying soda everywhere! I haven't had a soda bottle do that in years! I thought they'd figured out a way to make that stop happening. I guess this feature is not included on cheap, knock-off brand sodas.

There was a remarkably wide blast radius. I thought I cleaned it up pretty well, but I was still finding sticky red stains hours later.

Gee, I didn't expect Redpop to be that much work!

SO after cleaning up the mess, at least partially, I poured myself a glass on ice. I took a few sips.

What does Redpop taste like? I'm still trying to decide whether it's supposed to taste like strawberry or raspberry. However, I don't have to decide what its aftertaste is: lawn clippings.

It's like in order to make the soda they took the ENTIRE raspberry bush, leaves, stems, roots and all, and stuck it in the juicer. Feh.

But maybe I was being too hasty. That evening I had another glass and gave it to Lily to try. She took a drink, then made a face.

"Tastes like grandpa's ass," she concluded.

Well, what the hell did I expect for 99 cents a three liter bottle???

Hmmm. Wonder what their orange soda tastes like?