2001-03-01 - 23:59:17

Collision

I like to think of myself as a pretty safe driver. You know, I'll bet that EVERYBODY thinks that they are a safe driver. However, Lily thinks I am too so that’s two votes for, none against. I win the election!

However, even safe drivers have accidents. The reason for this is that the road is populated with careless idiots, maniacs and just plain stupid people.

Luckily, I am a mutant! I have a super power! It is the power to tell if a driver is about to do something stupid. It's hard to explain.

The are about a dozen times in my life when I've been driving along, minding my own business, when suddenly my attention is drawn to another car. A voice in my head will whisper: "Watch that car, it's about to do something dumb." And sure enough the car in question will race blindly into traffic, run a red light, or cut me off with about a foot to spare. It's uncanny.

Of course, the problem with the power is I have to SEE the other car first, but you can't have everything.

This afternoon Lily and I were driving back from lunch, and we were behind a car that I was getting that "watch out" vibe from. It looked to be driven by a short woman wearing a large cowboy hat. After being behind her for a few seconds I determined what her problem was: she was paying more attention to talking to her girlfriend in the passenger seat than she was to driving her car.

Traffic was bumper to bumper going through this corridor where there were three traffic lights in a row. The cars were moving slowly as we approached an intersection where we had a green light. She entered the intersection, but I held back, unwilling to be stuck in there if the light turned red. Sure enough, the light turned red, stranding the Cowgirl car in the middle of the intersection.

With the light red, she just sort of sat in the middle of the intersection. There was about a car-length between her and the car in front of her. If I had been in her situation I would have pulled up, so to cars going through the intersection would pass behind me.

I saw it coming before it happened. The little cowgirl suddenly started in her seat, like she just became aware of the fact that her car was sitting in the middle of the intersection. Her car started to move forward to close the gap. At the same time, a black sedan entered the intersection from my right. He was going a little faster than he should, but he did have the light. He tried to pass in front of the cowgirl's car just as she was trying to close the gap...

The cowgirl car hit the black sedan just past the second wheel well. The was a loud sound like someone kicking an empty cardboard box, and the tinkling of broken glass. The cowgirl car was stopped by the impact, and the sedan screeched to a halt.

Since neither was going very fast, it didn't look like anyone was hurt. While the guy in the sedan was probably going a little faster than he should considering the situation, the accident seemed to be plainly the fault of the stupid woman in the cowboy hat. Obliviously she continued to move forward, even when the black sedan was passing in front of her. Was she paying attention to anything going on around her at all?

Against such stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. I have a feeling that if I get nailed in a serious accident that's how it will happen. It won't be anything I've done, it will be some crazy idiot zipping out of left field, breaking a whole bunch of traffic laws.

All I can hope is that my traffic spider-sense will save me. That, and the tooth fairy.