2001-02-10 - 04:57:24

Hour of the Wolf

Here it is, 4 a.m. and I can’t sleep. Actually, I was asleep, but I woke up and then couldn't get back to sleep. I lay there in the dark, thinking the usual depressing stuff that occurs to you at 4 a.m., and decided it would be better to be up and doing something rather than flat on my back and worrying. How about a journal entry? That could make me sleepy! Hopefully it won't make everyone else sleepy too...

4 a.m. is that infamous time, the Hour of the Wolf. Supposedly it's the time when your body is weakest. Supposedly more people die at 4 a.m. than any other time. Is this an actual fact, or just another urban legend? I would think that more people would tend to die at 5 p.m. because of the lamebrain things people do in rush hour traffic, but what do I know?

I remember reading in another online journal that you shouldn't take seriously anything you think after three in the morning. I've found that to be very useful advice. I remember, when I used to have more serious problems with insomnia, lying in bed and tying myself up in knots over one problem or another. It really was wasted mental energy.

The hell of it is that I really do need to get to sleep now. I have a tough day ahead of me today, in fact I have a tough couple of weeks coming up. I have a lot of work I have to get done, and I can almost feel it looming over me. I feel like a weary mountaineer in front of a very big mountain.

For example, I have to get my taxes ready, but both the Hamster Palace and the store are a riot of paperwork. Getting all my receipts and forms together is going to be a daunting task.

However, the problem with the Hour of the Wolf is not so much that life's problems are overwhelming you, it's just that you're tired and your self-confidence is at a low ebb. You see all that is in front of you, and you just don't believe that you can handle it.

Heh. I just realized I'm using the pronoun "you" when I'm really talking about myself. Isn't it nice of me to drag all of you out there into this?

Anyway, I just try to take comfort in the fact that life moves on, and that barring getting hit by a bus or something, I'll be here next week and next month and next year. If I'm going to be here then, then obviously I'll have solved these problems, just like I solved the last bunch. In fact, viewed from that perspective the problems are ALREADY SOLVED! Q.E.D.!

Right. And here we have another example of why you shouldn't pay attention to anything you think at 4 a.m.