2001-02-01 - 23:35:07

The Chimp and Granny Show!

I'm still playing the online game, Planetarion, although this round is obviously running down. Two big alliances, Fury and Legion, have the game totally sewed up, and they are just farming the rest of the planets in the universe for points. It's not like we're even attacking any more, we're just mugging people.

I belong to Fury, and for the most part the alliance is full of vicious, unprincipled, quick-tempered, bloodthirsty, thuggish, paranoid, untrustable and emotionally unstable pirates, but they're not a bad bunch once you get to know them.

The alliance is held together by IRC chat rooms where members can get defense for their planets, or organize attacks. There are some real characters in these places.

The following is a chat between two of the more madcap members of Fury. Chimp - is every bit as mischievous has his namesake. GrannY - is, in fact, a guy. I don’t know why he calls himself Granny. Maybe he likes Terry Pratchett novels and is naming himself after Granny Weatherwax. Wolfbabe - is one of several female Fury members. The whole sorry lot of them is British, I think.

The times included are U.S. times. Yes, I was up at six in the morning. You should add five hours for British time. I think all of them are chatting on their computers while they are at their jobs, supposedly working. No wonder the British Empire fell!

Note: Comments in italics are by me.

[06:27] Chimp - bump
[06:28] Chimp - (echo)
[06:30] * Chimp flicks an elastic band at granny
[06:30] * GrannY returned, (AAAHHHHHHHHH !)
[06:31] GrannY - hmm
[06:31] Chimp - weee
[06:31] wolfbabe - Chimpy!!
[06:31] Chimp - wolfy!
[06:31] GrannY - my thingy isn't working
[06:31] * wolfbabe fluffles Chimpy
Fluffling happens frequently in channel and it seems to be a friendly, affectionate thing to do even if nobody quite knows what it is. (*See Below)
[06:31] GrannY - um
[06:31] GrannY - that could have been rephrased
[06:31] * Chimp fluffles wolfy
[06:31] GrannY - highlight
[06:31] GrannY - that's the wor
[06:31] Chimp - ooh ewrrr
[06:31] wolfbabe - well yes...
[06:31] GrannY - d
A frequent error with super-fast typists, a word gets broken up between lines.
[06:31] Chimp - poor granny
[06:31] GrannY - helo wolfie & chimp :)
[06:31] wolfbabe - poor GrannY
[06:31] wolfbabe - his thingy dont work
[06:31] Chimp - indeed
[06:31] * GrannY hides
[06:31] Chimp - i can see you leg sticking out
[06:32] Chimp - you are pants at hiding
pants = britslang for lame, feeble
[06:32] GrannY - this multiserver wotsit has buggered my mirc a bit
MIRC = the type of IRC most PA people use
[06:32] GrannY - that's cos i like being found
[06:32] GrannY - :)
[06:32] Chimp - ahaaaaaa
[06:32] wolfbabe - you have a wotsit in your multiserver?
[06:32] GrannY - a cheesy one i think
[06:32] wolfbabe - that was supposed to be in your mouth
[06:32] GrannY - you want me to put my wotsit in my mouth?@
[06:32] wolfbabe - as bad as Chimp
[06:33] Chimp - i took a day off work yesterday right, yet ANOTHER incident with the police, i now have 9 points on my license for doing nowt
nowt = britslang for "nothing"
[06:33] GrannY - aww
[06:33] wolfbabe - putting vick up his nose
[06:33] GrannY - what didn't you do?
[06:33] Chimp - hehe vick burnt
[06:33] Chimp - i didnt go through a red light
[06:33] GrannY - good lad
[06:33] wolfbabe - 9 points
[06:33] wolfbabe - ohhhh
[06:33] Chimp - well i had 6 for a previous alleged incident
[06:33] Chimp - then 3 yesterday
[06:33] GrannY - oh dear :/
[06:34] GrannY - gotta watch those red light things
[06:34] Chimp - had me on camera in their car an everyfink, i wish i had made a chase out of it and got on telly
[06:34] GrannY - lol
[06:34] Chimp - but i thought they got me for a brake light being broke
[06:34] Chimp - so i stopped right away with smiles an everything
[06:34] GrannY - and they went for ya
[06:34] Chimp - then i was like, ooooh you sneaky unmarked bizzboddies
[06:35] GrannY - hidden copcar jobby?
[06:35] GrannY - nasty
[06:35] Smurf - I've only got 3 points on my license so far
[06:35] Smurf - Unless I have a letter at home right now...
[06:35] Smurf - Got caught speeding, 47 in a 40
[06:35] Smurf - Harsh huh ?
[06:35] Chimp - mine was clean for like 5 years, now in 12 months i have 9 points
[06:35] GrannY - sheeit, I do that
[06:36] Chimp - one more offence and its game over
[06:36] GrannY - you guys are making me think I better start being a better driver fs
fs = fuck's sake! a very VERY common expression on PA IRC
[06:36] Smurf - Someone here at work is currently half way through his second ban
[06:36] Chimp - hehe
[06:36] Chimp - i would hate to be banned
[06:36] Smurf - Me too
[06:36] GrannY - i mean there's loads of places here where everyone ignores the speed limits
[06:36] Chimp - miss chimp is taking me everywhere as of now
Miss Chimp = chimp's girlfriend, an understanding woman if ever there was one
[06:36] Smurf - I drive for an hour just to get to work
[06:36] GrannY - liek totally ignores 'em
liek = like. This misspelling is so common, it is now becoming the accepted usage on IRC. I'd call it "leet-speak"
[06:37] Chimp - the whole reason i was out yesterday was to get her a giant tweetie pie for her dumb yellow car
[06:37] Smurf - rofl
[06:37] GrannY - couple of 30 zones between dual carriageways and people do 60 down em
[06:37] GrannY - LOL chimp
[06:37] GrannY - giant tweety pie hehe
[06:37] Chimp - it is h00j
h00j = huge, more leet-speak
[06:37] Chimp - i strapped it in the back seat for a laff
[06:37] GrannY - that's a bit like a miniature giant space hamster only more so
From my point of view this sentence alone made the whole conversation worthwhile.
[06:37] Smurf - "I fawt I saw a puddy cat"
[06:37] GrannY - did the cops breathalyse it?
[06:37] Chimp - hehe
[06:38] Chimp - i should have jumped in the passenger seat and placed it in the drivers when they approached me
[06:38] GrannY - heheh
[06:38] GrannY - they'd have had to breathalyse themselves then
[06:38] Chimp - "i told him to go easy officer"
[06:38] GrannY - phone
[06:38] Chimp - iite
[06:40] wolfbabe - awwww
[06:40] wolfbabe - a tweetie pie
[06:40] Chimp - heh
[06:41] Chimp - its maffis
[06:41] wolfbabe - you big romantic Chimp
[06:41] Chimp - i had to give it a piggy back around town
[06:41] Chimp - and i looked gh3y
gh3y = ghey = gay
[06:41] wolfbabe - you aew sweet
[06:41] wolfbabe - are
[06:41] Chimp - im glad you think so
[06:41] Chimp - since it cost me a license endorsement and £60 fine
[06:41] GrannY - woohoo
[06:41] Chimp - heh
[06:42] wolfbabe - what other man would walk around with a giant yellow bird on his back
[06:42] GrannY - the survey on the house we wanna buy is happeneing today
[06:42] * GrannY bounces
[06:42] Chimp - "ground liable to subside"
[06:42] Chimp - :p
[06:42] GrannY - shush :p
[06:42] * GrannY subsides Chimp
[06:42] wolfbabe - building is listing
[06:42] GrannY - listED
[06:42] Chimp - wolfy - not many, but i iz chimp
[06:42] Chimp - special breeed innit
innit = britslang for "isn't it"
[06:43] wolfbabe - miss Chimp is lucky
[06:43] * GrannY has mental image of chimpanzee with big-bird on back
[06:43] Chimp - hehe
[06:43] wolfbabe - was tweetie pie
[06:43] wolfbabe - not BB
[06:43] wolfbabe - :p
[06:43] Chimp - heheh similar but not the same
[06:44] Chimp - bb has big stork legs
[06:44] wolfbabe - you could have dressed up as sylvester
[06:44] GrannY - oh yeah true
[06:44] Chimp - hahah
[06:44] GrannY - lol
[06:44] wolfbabe - lol
[06:44] wolfbabe - ohhh
[06:44] GrannY - ur all mad
[06:44] GrannY - mad i tell ya
[06:44] Chimp - yesh
[06:44] wolfbabe - and GrannY could have chased you with abrolly
abrolly = I have no frigging idea. Umbrella?
[06:44] Chimp - hahahah
[06:44] GrannY - and a stick of ACME dynamite
[06:45] wolfbabe - rofl
[06:46] GrannY - fs oprah had the 2 couples in the internet-babies row on the show yesterday
row = boisterous argument
[06:46] Chimp - heheh
[06:46] GrannY - is the woman a complete bitch or what?
[06:46] GrannY - (oprah i mean)
[06:46] Chimp - trisha would have made a better show of it
[06:46] Smurf - I thought that was today ?
[06:46] Chimp - or kilroy
kilroy is the British equivalent of Jerry Springer, I guess
[06:46] GrannY - could be today, dunno, i'm just skimming the bbc news
[06:46] Smurf - My g/f was watching Kilroy the other day
[06:47] Smurf - And her cousin was on it
[06:47] Chimp - eeewww
[06:47] GrannY - i had a flatmate who was on kilroy once
[06:47] Smurf - She got the shock of her life!
[06:47] Chimp - hahah
[06:47] Chimp - "i I love my cousin" show?
[06:47] GrannY - she laid into kilroy for being a reactionary misogynist if i remember correctly
[06:47] Smurf - Apparently her cousin (16) is engaged to a 41 year old man!
errr… no comment
[06:47] GrannY - lol Chimp
[06:47] Chimp - holy crap
[06:47] GrannY - he'll go blind
[06:48] Chimp - miss chimps sister is 16, and as much as she is pretty an all, she like, thinks im mental and avoids me
[06:48] Chimp - dispelling the myth that girls like older blokes
Also dispelling the myth that girls like MENTAL blokes
[06:48] GrannY - so smart so young?
[06:48] Chimp - heh
[06:48] GrannY - mrs granny's younger than me
[06:48] GrannY - but not by that much
[06:49] Chimp - i need older lady
[06:49] Chimp - to mother me
[06:49] GrannY - heh
[06:49] Chimp - i get confused alot and buy the wrong stuff in shops
[06:49] GrannY - ...
[06:49] Chimp - and chicks dig shopping
[06:49] Chimp - so an older one would know wassup
[06:49] Chimp - and like guide me
[06:50] GrannY - tell me about it.... I said to mrs granny yesterday "we need a relaxing weekend, what shall we do?" and she said "shopping!"
[06:50] Chimp - oook
[06:50] Chimp - im a pisces and oddly enough i love the beach cold or hot
[06:51] Chimp - beach = fun = relax for me
[06:51] GrannY - beaches bore me
[06:51] Chimp - oooh and the arcades like
[06:51] GrannY - arcades i can cope with :p
[06:51] Chimp - heh
[06:51] Chimp - i do the whole candy floss toffee apples thing
[06:51] Chimp - :)
[06:51] GrannY - eww nooo argh
[06:51] GrannY - i grew up in brighton so it's all passe to me ;)
[06:52] Chimp - damn
[06:52] GrannY - went to a weird place last weekend
[06:52] GrannY - matlock bath
[06:52] Chimp - lol
[06:52] GrannY - it's liek, the furthest you can get from the sea in the UK
[06:52] Smurf - You grew up in Brighton ?
[06:52] Chimp - i used to go there all the time on my motorbike
[06:52] Chimp - weird shit
[06:52] GrannY - and the WHOLE place is full of fish'n'chip shops
[06:52] GrannY - yeah Smurf
[06:52] Smurf - Isn't that the gay capital on England ?
[06:52] GrannY - yeah Smurf
[06:52] Chimp - matlock bath is bikers mecca
[06:52] GrannY - yeah Chimp
[06:52] * GrannY turns on auto-reply and pops off for a cup of tea
[06:53] Chimp - heh
[06:53] Chimp - im off to find a sandwich too.. nonsense reconvenes after lunch an that
[06:53] GrannY - :)

*Fluffling explained, in a later conversation
[13:06] RoiD^MaGnet - what is fluffle?
[13:07] Cryptic - it is incediuos heretical movements of the hands though the fluffleies hair
[13:07] RoiD^MaGnet - wtf, my english is too bad to understand that :/
[13:07] jessica - lol