2001-01-11 - 23:59:10

Welcome to Screw-up-your-life Island

Since Lily has moved in I've been watching a lot more television. Actually, that isn't quite true: generally the television is on while I am doing other things and I'm watching it out of the corner of my eye. It definitely cuts down on my productivity: Lily is rather amused by how easily I am hypnotized by the booby box.

Still for all that I'd have to be living in a shack in Montana not to have heard about the new "reality-based" program from Fox: Temptation Island.

The premise of the show is pretty simple: four couples are going to spend two weeks on a tropical island with two dozen other singles to "test their relationship."

The ads for this show were just about omnipresent. It sounded like such trash! Pandering to the lowest common denominator! However, it attracted Lily and me like a pile of manure attracts flies. We just had to see how bad it was.

I have to admit that I was not paying strict attention to the program. I may have some details wrong. Basically the show just seemed like eye candy. It featured lots of attractive, slender young people in bathing suits. I think I could have gotten just as much out of it if the sound had been turned off.

This first show was all about introductions. We were introduced to the four couples, got to watch them pack for their trips and so on. Then, when they get to the island, we meet the 26 singles chosen to "tempt" them.

Ah, the hot young bodies! I noticed that each of the 13 guys had those "six-pack" abdominal muscles. Many, many hours in the gym were in evidence as the singles strutted their stuff.

The couples were to spend 2 weeks on the island, but they were to be separated. The four women would be on one side of the island with all the male singles while the four men would be on the other side with all the female singles. Of course, all the members of the couples would probably be informed of what their other half was up to for maximum torment!

There were a few twists to this simple scenario. At the start the 26 singles were reduced to 24 because the men of the couples could kick off one male single while the women could kick off one female single. It was here the men made a huge mistake. There was one handsome male single whose occupation was listed as "massage therapist" who made the girls oooh and aah when he was introduced. He seemed like the obvious choice to be expelled, but they didn't kick him. I bet they'll be sorry later...

Another twist was the bracelets that eight of the singles had to wear. Each member of the couples had a bracelet of a certain color that would label one of the singles "off-limits" to their mate. However, it seems that "off-limits" just meant that their mate couldn't "date" that particular single. There was nothing to stop them from talking to them, or whatever. Apparently regularly scheduled "dates" were part of the show.

The handing out of the bracelets made us aware of something we hadn't noticed previously - some of the singles had been chosen because they were similar in appearance to some of the members of the couples. The couples seemed to catch on to this too - they seemed likely to hand out the bracelets to their "twin" among the singles.

However, in spite of these little twists the format of the show was pretty simple. "Change of Heart on a tropical island," was what Lily labeled it.

All this being said, I think the couples on the show are being outstandingly stupid. Why is that, you may ask.

All of them are in long-term, serious relationships. The number one rule of relationships like that, from my point of view, is: Don’t do anything to endanger the relationship. Do you think that a two week tropical vacation with twelve hotties could endanger a relationship? COULD BE!!

Frankly, a number of the couples seem kind of tepid about their relationships and might be using whatever happens on the island as a pretext to break up. That doesn't seem like a very adult way to deal with whatever is bothering them.

Now I could imagine that a couple in a secure relationship who are open to experimentation could have a lot of fun with this. They could spend the entire two weeks screwing around and then get back together again and compare notes, no harm done. However, none of the couples seem like they are at that level. Besides, people like that wouldn’t make good television. Where's the angst? Where's the drama?

I should also point out that, unlike Survivor, there are no cash prizes involved. All these people are undergoing these indignities for free! Or rather, for the TV exposure. Who knows what that's worth?

And here's something I just heard that lowered my opinion of these couples even more - one couple was booted off the island because it was discovered that they had a child. Now that's really stupid - endangering your family just for a two week tropical vacation!

I suppose this rant rings a little hollow - after all, I watched the damn show. I suppose I can't look down my nose at anyone. It's also rather sobering to realize that if you really wanted to put me on Temptation Island it wouldn’t be with a medical student from St. Louis or a stewardess from Atlanta - it would probably be with a freezer full of ice cream.