2001-10-01 - 11:45 p.m.

Safe Neighborhood?

The other day I picked up a new set of glasses from the optometrist down the street.

It was the first time I'd gotten glasses from him. I used to get them from my eye doctor, but he's not in the glasses business anymore - Wal-Mart, et al have made it too unprofitable for him. He just does eye exams and writes prescriptions.

I went to the optometrist down the street because I like to patronize local businesses, even though I know I could get the glasses cheaper elsewhere. It's better for the local economy to keep the money local instead of shipping it off to some corporate offices far away. Besides, there is the convenience of having an optometrist within walking distance if something goes wrong.

Talking to this guy was kind of interesting, because in a lot of ways he's a kindred spirit: he an independent businessman holding on in an industry that is trying to eliminate him. Surely before too long all of the chains and mail order optical companies will put all independent opticians out of business. He's marking time until retirement.

I've been in this neighborhood for almost 20 years, but he's been here almost 30, and he told me a story about the neighborhood that I hadn't heard before, or if I had heard it, I'd forgotten it.

Before I owned the Hamster Palace, it was owned by a guy named Russ. I think he was my landlord for about seven years before I bought the building myself.

I didn't much care for Russ. I didn't think he was a good landlord, and he kept making promises that he never kept. At one point he said that he'd help me renovate the store, and then claimed he'd never made any such promise. He did this sort of thing a couple of times. Ethical flexibility is not really a quality I look for in a landlord.

The optician knew him because Russ was a chiropractor and had his office right next door, and that's where the trouble started.

On several occasions there would be groups of kids hanging out on the cement stairs in front of Russ' office. By kids, I mean, thirteen, fourteen years old.

One day Russ asked them to get off his steps, because they were interfering with his business. One of the kids gave Russ some lip, and I guess they got into an argument and it ended up with Russ shoving the kid or something.

That was a stupid thing for him to do. Once you lay hands on a minor, you are instantly in the wrong. If he was having problems with them, he should have called the cops.

The kids eventually left, but that's not the end if the story.

Russ was something of a physical fitness freak, in fact his main hobby was running and it was also a side business with him. A couple of weeks after the incident described above Russ was shooting some baskets at a small park a couple of blocks away from the (soon to be) Hamster Palace.

Russ is playing basketball with himself and who should wander by but the 13 year old kid that Russ pushed. Russ apologized to the kid, and said that he'd been out of line, and he shouldn't have pushed him. The kid said that he didn't really care, and he and Russ actually played a couple of games of pick-up basketball. The kid then excused himself and left.

Russ spent another 20 minutes or so shooting baskets, and then packed up his gear, got on his bike and headed home. However he hadn't gotten very far before he was jumped by three guys, one of them the kid he'd just been playing basketball with. One of his attackers had a baseball bat, and they worked Russ over pretty good. In fact, he went to the hospital with a skull fracture.

The optometrist described Russ with his head all bandaged up, and both eyes blackened: "He looked like a raccoon with a turban on."

That was it for Russ. He'd had enough of Frown Town. He moved to the western part of the state and opened up a new office there. He eventually sold the house to yours truly, then he was quit of the area completely.

They never caught the guys who beat the crap out of him.

I was aghast when the optometrist told me this story. Russ was living in the apartment right over the store at the time, and I didn't remember any of that! Maybe I'd only heard part of the story, or I'd heard it and forgotten it.

Hearing it makes me kind of wonder what sort of neighborhood I live in, and if it's really safe to walk the streets. Russ was an idiot, but he didn't deserve to have his head bashed in.

Then again, this story must have happened six or seven years ago, so it's not like it's fresh news or anything.

Well, one thing's for sure: I'm not going to be shoving any kids any time soon.